I remember when you used to call me babe and all these sweet names. Your words only meant something to me. I just got called babe and made me think of you. I miss hearing those words that come from you. I hope someday I will hear them again from you. I truly hope I do.. but in all honesty my favorite was baby coming from you. You could make my stomach flutter so high. It was unbelievable.  Just missing you tonight. :( 

Hey.
I hope someday you will get to read this. I am hoping someday everything that i wanted will be worth it for me and you. I can't get you outta of my mind someday's like today. Today is just one of those day where i miss you. I miss everything about you. :)  Today is a day that i just wanna snuggle. you like a perfect snuggler during a movie and  for the rest of my life. Someday's i really get down at the thought of you never finding Jesus for real. It kills me in every way to know that I may go to heaven without you. Your a thousand miles away and you can still make me cry. Some day's its a happy cry and other day it's a cry of missing you and frustration.  I met you when i was  17.5 and i started praying for you from the start. I prayed that you would truly find Jesus and that you would fall in love with him. I have and i couldn't imagine life anymore better. I still fall down in life especially knowing that my heart beats for you. I can't imagine life without you, walking down the street and breathing the same with you. I am learning to live without you  but knowing that i am truly living my life for God and your missing out makes me sad. Your missing something exciting, an indescribable feeling knowing that i will be rejoicing in heaven and you wouldn't be there. I wanna give up, but something inside of me tells me to keep going and praying. but your so worth it :)  Every prayer for you is worth it. I hope by the end of this blog you will see that i care about you more than anyone in this world. 




♥ ME 

I am stuck on you.

I see you someday loving me in the way Jesus loves me. I see you + me = a world of love and happiness A family of God loving parents and a wife and husband. You may not see it quite yet or feel this way  ; but i know these feelings aren't leaving. I have never cared nor loved anyway in the same way as I have loved you, my bug.  We have been through so much together and through  separation.  I have come so far from when you walked out of my life to be able to face each day and life with strength. I have stayed up a week or two off and on praying for you, crying about you and sleepless nights for you. If you only knew how much i loved and cared for you which you do.  This last year has brought me the greatest joy, happiness, love and the most brokenness s i have ever felt in my entire life. I see you holding my hand and telling me how beautiful i am when i am sick, or bawling my eyes out. Putting a smile on my face when i need one.  Encouraging me to get my nursing degree and giving me strength to face each and every day.  I need you like a chocolate chip cookie needs milk. Your the glue to my paper and the macaroni to my cheese. But first you need Jesus, find him and fall in love with him and maybe after all of this I'll get my answered prayer and the greatest guy i have ever met. I love you in a way that nobody understands. If your listening God while i write and all my prayers that I have ever prayed God, i pray that you will make prayer answered happen and that dream comes true. Please God. make this happen :D I love love love love you. Someday I scream from the top of my lungs to tell you much i need and cant live without you. I want your fingers in twined between mine, your lips on my lips and sharing the memories and the most happiness and loving me the rest of my life. ♥ i love you babe.. you just dont know it yet or maybe you feel it deep down somewhere. If  we don't belong together, i pray that God answers my prayer of you loving God to the deepest area of your heart, forever and ever. That's all i want for you. That's all I want for you That's all I want for you, if I can't have your hand forever. This what I want for you and to be the lost lamb following him and running back into his arms.

♥ Taylor Ashley!

I haven't thought about you much lately. i forgot how much you mean to me 
but i after watching private practice about the baby being born and the mom dying. I saw the father holding his daughter and thought of you. Some day i would love to share that special moment with you. I love you today and i'll love you forever. you changed my life my shining star. You never seem to amaze me. every little thing you do blows my mind. Now if God can make this dream happen. 

you complete me.

I am so confused in life.

I used to feel so deep and strongly about you

and even love you to the ends of the earth

but now i am not so sure?

i don't even feel anything anymore for you

I just miss you being in my life

Am i just another person that prays for you and nothing happens?

i pray for you like no other 

 i'm worried that i'm just the girl you lied too.

that you stopped thinking about me for good

and that i'm nobody to you or anyone else

ever again? 

I'm hoping you kept your promise from the last time i saw you.

from camp.

did you or not?

i sure hope so.

I MISS YOU 

I WANNA MARRY YOU

I LOVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME

COME BACK?

PLEASE GOD LET HIM BE MY HUSBAND!

MAKE THIS DREAM OF MINE COME TRUE..

I love and miss you♥

I love you, i never how challenging this would be to say to you. I am not ready to say goodbye to someone i hold so close to my heart. You made my life shine so beautiful and even with you out of my life I still wanna say one word to you. I LOVE YOU MY SHINING STAR. I love you now and forever. You gave me so much courage and strength to keep following after Jesus Christ.  I am keeping that goal and I hope someday you will find him my shining star. You will never be the same Just thinking about how much my life was effected by having you in it. Your joy was amazing, the way everything happened I wouldn't trade it with anything. Some days I wish I could go back and remember each and every sweet word that you would say to me. But the past is the past and I am now living in the future. 

someone like you.

I found another one just like you

and he makes my day just by seeing him

I know God is supposed to bring the happiness in my life

but so does He...

Turns out your just as bad
maybe you realize you lost me 
i dont want a friendship or anything with you
seeing you with her 
kills me 

goodbye or not goodbye

 "When you're standing at a crossroad, there's a choice you gotta make. I guess it's gonna have to hurt, I guess I'm gonna have to cry, &let go of some things I've loved to get to the other side. I guess it's gonna break me down, like falling when you try to fly. It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye.

i am blowing the memories towards your heart, hoping and praying that some day you will get on the right path of life. And this was never goodbye.. I miss you :(

Cant get you out of my mind;
on a night like this when i need to get up early
I miss you soo much; i could cry


i am so not ready for college at all
and all i wanna do is be held by you
tell me its gonna be okay
i just need to hear those words
ITS GONNA BE OKAY..

one word ---- Thanks

If i had one word and one chance to talk to you 

I would tell you thanks,

from the bottom of my heart

I found myself wondering why you left

I couldn't bring myself to listen to our songs

I thought you were fighting to breathe without me

You made my world so much bigger

and everything you do was a dash of 

ooey gooey soo romantic 

Till this day thinking about what you,

 I still get mini tingles in my tummy

from thinking about this and that

The distance is killing me from not talking to you

but guess what?

I have realized something very cool

that I am stronger than I ever have been

and that everything happens for a reason

You were my reason from the beginning,

and you are the reason again

My life is missing your touch

but my smile is not yet gone

My shine in my eyes is gone

but my heart still smiles from the memories

Thank you for helping me

Thank you for being my best friend 

Thank you for opening my eyes 

Thank you for not giving up on me

Thank you for being a friend

Thank you for believing in me 

Thank you for just being You

Thank you for making me realize something 

Amazing

I found my meaning in life

beautiful things never last

and because the stop you took

made me realize something 

beautitful

I was holding onto past hurts 

including You

my mommy and my daddy

I am happy to say 

I am right;

 where I am supposed to be

Learn to love yourself

I am beautiful because I am me

Guess what?

I felt torn down when you left me without a reason

I wish you would come back with everything that I am

You can take everything I have, you can break everything I am

but i am still beautiful; you cant take that away.

I am gonna be okay.

I knew I was beautiful before you even walked into my life

Each time you told me how beautiful it meant a lot ♥

I am still standing tall without you in my life

I will be rising from the ground; like a sky scraper

like a skyscraper

You cant take this beautiful feelings away
 but i can smile and say thanks 

happy birthday to me

My day started out pretty bad; I don't think that i am special. but anyways, i had the house to myself all day and i wanted to cry after being up for 2 hours. My day became pretty special throughout the day. :) I hung out with my sweet friend jello buddy and now my heart is pretty sad knowing that you didnt wish me a happy birthday. I thought I mattered to you but i guess not :( i miss you more than you would ever know.. please talk to me and come back to me. I love you now and forever.

things happen... dont wanna miss a thing

its time that i start living with what if this happens and what if this doesn't happen. 

I know I am right where i should be at this point of time. Maybe its good that i am not tied down starting this new journey.. Whatever happens; Happens. I wont put my life on hold  anymore.. I'm gonna be living life; the way I should. Only live life once. Imma do me and be riding solo... peace out.

do i do i do i do i

Do i matter to you anymore?
You matter to me more than  anyone I know.
My heart hurts from not speaking to you 

Its been 2 months and my hurt feels empty.

Do i matter to you?

DO I?

Do I?

I feel like i don't.

I feel like i wont survive this 

and I am afraid to never fall in love 

if you wont ever get out of my mind

for just a little bit
Please dont forget me and all the moments we had
You will be always in my heart tucked up in my pocket.
I want you back and only mine

I just heard your friend tell me how long your gonna be gone
This wont work, now will it?
Ahh God help me. I need you right now
My future is in your hands; I can choose what I want 
but your plan is better :)


I wanna get married and start a family with you
Only if God allows it 
I am in love with this boy; who I cant stop thinking about
Your killing my heart and maybe its even been ripped out
I need you now
i don't want anyone else

Love will find its way if its meant to happen
If it happens; life will be amazing and if not my life will be still incredible
I cant be this strong
I am not ready to let you go

A little something something

Trying to forget and forgive is easier than said then done
The truth; I cant get you off my mind
You gave me a reason to love You
and guess what? yeah guess what?
The love isn't going anywhere
I  wanna say I am over You
But boy guess what? 

I wanna forget what happened; but I 

will never forget what you done to me

and how you made me feel

Its gonna have to take a special guy to take my heart again
I am not let any guy take my heart; like you did
Cause you you are still running through my mind
a couple times a day


I wanna go somewhere with You
I wanna breathe the air you do
Most of all i wanna be your everything like I used to be

I was falling fast for you and that heart of yours

but I am blaming you; and how you felt

Most importantly I miss being involved in your life
telling me all about your sexy car; 
and what you have to done baby your car
I miss telling you about my day and
telling my thoughts and crazy feelings about




a Little something something called randomnesss :)

Weird Feelings, odd feelings

What the heck? 
Why do I feel like this? 
 My heart feels crappy just thinking about you
I take a deep breathe again; and hold it a few seconds
If I just breathe everything's gonna be alright, Right?
I think Not, do you hear me? 
The pain is so real and i just wanna forget 

This 

My heart beats one, two and three times 

before i can continue living without you

I did this before; and I can do it again, 

but i'm just curious to why i feel this strong ache feeling left in my heart

If i just breathe everything will be okay, Right?

I need to fill this empty feeling of my heart 

With Faith, Love, Peace and Joy

and More of Jesus

I can picture your unique voice most of the time

Its like a kick in the tummy;

Knowing and questioning whats running through your Head?

I'm tired of all these thoughts playing back and forth through my head

I want to tell them to stop; but i'm scared.

I cant face the future without you supporting me

and encouraging me along the way

The place that's in my heart beats only for some guy like You

I love you more and everyday 

and I wish i could hold your hand and tell me not worry 

I know God's got a big plan for my life and You too

but losing you was the most difficult thing Ever!

Even worse then losing my girl best friend a few years ago.

Weird Feelings, Odd feelings

Takes me to think about my life

The way I could myself beautiful on the inside and on the outside

and everyday what if You aren't the ONE

How would life be?

I had a dream one night that I getting married and at the end of the aisle

A blank Face

What does this mean?

Such wierdness.. lol 

The pain that I feel deep inside 

wont let go yet

You cant see inside my heart unless you find me first

See my eyes and my sparkle is gone from my hazel eyes

and also my smile in my heart

Never knew it would hurt this bad

hurt on the inside smile on the outside

only thing that helps is fake a smile

I try to forget how I feel

Its not easy to ever forget how you made my heart soar

thanks for the pain you caused me when you walked away

why?

Should i give up or keep on chasing pavements?

I'd build myself up and fly around in circles wait

as my heart drops.

hello and GoodBye!

"I miss you so much, that some days I wish I could stop myself from missing you cause it hurts so much, that all I want to do is cry, because I miss you."