I remember when you used to call me babe and all these sweet names. Your words only meant something to me. I just got called babe and made me think of you. I miss hearing those words that come from you. I hope someday I will hear them again from you. I truly hope I do.. but in all honesty my favorite was baby coming from you. You could make my stomach flutter so high. It was unbelievable.  Just missing you tonight. :( 

Hey.
I hope someday you will get to read this. I am hoping someday everything that i wanted will be worth it for me and you. I can't get you outta of my mind someday's like today. Today is just one of those day where i miss you. I miss everything about you. :)  Today is a day that i just wanna snuggle. you like a perfect snuggler during a movie and  for the rest of my life. Someday's i really get down at the thought of you never finding Jesus for real. It kills me in every way to know that I may go to heaven without you. Your a thousand miles away and you can still make me cry. Some day's its a happy cry and other day it's a cry of missing you and frustration.  I met you when i was  17.5 and i started praying for you from the start. I prayed that you would truly find Jesus and that you would fall in love with him. I have and i couldn't imagine life anymore better. I still fall down in life especially knowing that my heart beats for you. I can't imagine life without you, walking down the street and breathing the same with you. I am learning to live without you  but knowing that i am truly living my life for God and your missing out makes me sad. Your missing something exciting, an indescribable feeling knowing that i will be rejoicing in heaven and you wouldn't be there. I wanna give up, but something inside of me tells me to keep going and praying. but your so worth it :)  Every prayer for you is worth it. I hope by the end of this blog you will see that i care about you more than anyone in this world. 




♥ ME 

I am stuck on you.

I see you someday loving me in the way Jesus loves me. I see you + me = a world of love and happiness A family of God loving parents and a wife and husband. You may not see it quite yet or feel this way  ; but i know these feelings aren't leaving. I have never cared nor loved anyway in the same way as I have loved you, my bug.  We have been through so much together and through  separation.  I have come so far from when you walked out of my life to be able to face each day and life with strength. I have stayed up a week or two off and on praying for you, crying about you and sleepless nights for you. If you only knew how much i loved and cared for you which you do.  This last year has brought me the greatest joy, happiness, love and the most brokenness s i have ever felt in my entire life. I see you holding my hand and telling me how beautiful i am when i am sick, or bawling my eyes out. Putting a smile on my face when i need one.  Encouraging me to get my nursing degree and giving me strength to face each and every day.  I need you like a chocolate chip cookie needs milk. Your the glue to my paper and the macaroni to my cheese. But first you need Jesus, find him and fall in love with him and maybe after all of this I'll get my answered prayer and the greatest guy i have ever met. I love you in a way that nobody understands. If your listening God while i write and all my prayers that I have ever prayed God, i pray that you will make prayer answered happen and that dream comes true. Please God. make this happen :D I love love love love you. Someday I scream from the top of my lungs to tell you much i need and cant live without you. I want your fingers in twined between mine, your lips on my lips and sharing the memories and the most happiness and loving me the rest of my life. ♥ i love you babe.. you just dont know it yet or maybe you feel it deep down somewhere. If  we don't belong together, i pray that God answers my prayer of you loving God to the deepest area of your heart, forever and ever. That's all i want for you. That's all I want for you That's all I want for you, if I can't have your hand forever. This what I want for you and to be the lost lamb following him and running back into his arms.

♥ Taylor Ashley!

I haven't thought about you much lately. i forgot how much you mean to me 
but i after watching private practice about the baby being born and the mom dying. I saw the father holding his daughter and thought of you. Some day i would love to share that special moment with you. I love you today and i'll love you forever. you changed my life my shining star. You never seem to amaze me. every little thing you do blows my mind. Now if God can make this dream happen. 

you complete me.

I am so confused in life.

I used to feel so deep and strongly about you

and even love you to the ends of the earth

but now i am not so sure?

i don't even feel anything anymore for you

I just miss you being in my life

Am i just another person that prays for you and nothing happens?

i pray for you like no other 

 i'm worried that i'm just the girl you lied too.

that you stopped thinking about me for good

and that i'm nobody to you or anyone else

ever again? 

I'm hoping you kept your promise from the last time i saw you.

from camp.

did you or not?

i sure hope so.

I MISS YOU 

I WANNA MARRY YOU

I LOVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME

COME BACK?

PLEASE GOD LET HIM BE MY HUSBAND!

MAKE THIS DREAM OF MINE COME TRUE..

I love and miss you♥

I love you, i never how challenging this would be to say to you. I am not ready to say goodbye to someone i hold so close to my heart. You made my life shine so beautiful and even with you out of my life I still wanna say one word to you. I LOVE YOU MY SHINING STAR. I love you now and forever. You gave me so much courage and strength to keep following after Jesus Christ.  I am keeping that goal and I hope someday you will find him my shining star. You will never be the same Just thinking about how much my life was effected by having you in it. Your joy was amazing, the way everything happened I wouldn't trade it with anything. Some days I wish I could go back and remember each and every sweet word that you would say to me. But the past is the past and I am now living in the future. 

someone like you.

I found another one just like you

and he makes my day just by seeing him

I know God is supposed to bring the happiness in my life

but so does He...

Turns out your just as bad
maybe you realize you lost me 
i dont want a friendship or anything with you
seeing you with her 
kills me 

goodbye or not goodbye

 "When you're standing at a crossroad, there's a choice you gotta make. I guess it's gonna have to hurt, I guess I'm gonna have to cry, &let go of some things I've loved to get to the other side. I guess it's gonna break me down, like falling when you try to fly. It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye.

i am blowing the memories towards your heart, hoping and praying that some day you will get on the right path of life. And this was never goodbye.. I miss you :(

Cant get you out of my mind;
on a night like this when i need to get up early
I miss you soo much; i could cry


i am so not ready for college at all
and all i wanna do is be held by you
tell me its gonna be okay
i just need to hear those words
ITS GONNA BE OKAY..

one word ---- Thanks

If i had one word and one chance to talk to you 

I would tell you thanks,

from the bottom of my heart

I found myself wondering why you left

I couldn't bring myself to listen to our songs

I thought you were fighting to breathe without me

You made my world so much bigger

and everything you do was a dash of 

ooey gooey soo romantic 

Till this day thinking about what you,

 I still get mini tingles in my tummy

from thinking about this and that

The distance is killing me from not talking to you

but guess what?

I have realized something very cool

that I am stronger than I ever have been

and that everything happens for a reason

You were my reason from the beginning,

and you are the reason again

My life is missing your touch

but my smile is not yet gone

My shine in my eyes is gone

but my heart still smiles from the memories

Thank you for helping me

Thank you for being my best friend 

Thank you for opening my eyes 

Thank you for not giving up on me

Thank you for being a friend

Thank you for believing in me 

Thank you for just being You

Thank you for making me realize something 

Amazing

I found my meaning in life

beautiful things never last

and because the stop you took

made me realize something 

beautitful

I was holding onto past hurts 

including You

my mommy and my daddy

I am happy to say 

I am right;

 where I am supposed to be

Learn to love yourself

I am beautiful because I am me

Guess what?

I felt torn down when you left me without a reason

I wish you would come back with everything that I am

You can take everything I have, you can break everything I am

but i am still beautiful; you cant take that away.

I am gonna be okay.

I knew I was beautiful before you even walked into my life

Each time you told me how beautiful it meant a lot ♥

I am still standing tall without you in my life

I will be rising from the ground; like a sky scraper

like a skyscraper

You cant take this beautiful feelings away
 but i can smile and say thanks