So many times I find myself wishing that I was somewhere else.... Maybe hoping some day that I could be a better person, someone other than myself. What if I was that super smart girl? Years go by and I wonder what if I was that person and I didn’t care about what people were telling me how special that I am. I never really knew how special I truly was. I knew that i was special but I truly didn’t feel it...... I couldn’t have people have keep telling me that I WAS SPECIAL. I needed to find out for myself. These past months have been really different. I have been doing a lot of thinking about so many things, my future, school, boys and friends. I began to realize through the thick and thin how special I am. Even now I constantly struggling with thinking that I am special. I constantly wonder about life ahead and what will happen in my future. Lately I find my myself focusing on my future, wondering and hoping if my future has any meaning at all. I often wonder what my purpose in life is……. Is there really any purpose in my life? I was constantly wondering about life. Thinking, questioning and wondering have been running through my head A LOT. I never really knew what my life had in store. I was confused and lost. Hoping one day that I might figure out if my life truly has meaning. I was constantly dreaming about things that I wanted to happen in my life, but what if they aren’t God’s plan for my life. I often thought what if there is no special thing in my future? Then shortly my life began to spin upside down and I am still confused about things. God has opened my eyes and made me realize so much through tough times. Instead of focusing on things down the road, I could sit and day dream of what kind of guy I would love to marry, what will my wedding be like, everything teenage girls think about. But if that’s not God’s plan what is? I was so caught up in things down the road that I didn’t stop for a minute and think about being patient and taking time and enjoying life as being a teenager. I was missing special moments of life that I never knew how precious they were. I found a song that has touched my heart and opened my eyes in new ways that i wouldn’t have imagined any other way. One day I was on you tube, yeah that’s right good old you tube and I was listening to Christian music and I found a song called Quiet my heart, by Brooke Barrett Smith. God has shown me so much through all my struggles and throughout all of this, this song is getting me through the toughest part of LIFE! This song made me realize that instead of focusing on the bad things about myself, I need to focus on the good inner qualities of myself. If it wasn’t for GOD placing a rough patch in my life I know that I wouldn’t have found myself . Life is beginning to have a bigger meaning in my heart. I am starting to treasure things that I wish I would have a couple years ago. I am now finding myself wanting to deepen my relationship with Jesus. I get so excited at simple things like writing in my blog. Things are changing in my heart and in my life but if you just take the time to in joy life you can experience how special life can be. I know that I have. Remember to enjoy Life!
Love,
Taylor
